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3 Timber Themed TV Programmes to Keep You Sane whilst You’re Self-Isolating.

Whilst social distancing has you stuck at home, you may feel tempted to pick up the remote and check out what’s on TV. You may, shock horror, even be tempted to watch some “scripted reality” – poor you, but desperate times call for desperate measures… 

If you do, you’ll be struck by the bewildering array of choice on offer – from Geordie Shore to Made in Chelsea and every possible demonym in between. 

It seems they’ll make TV out of anything these days.

If you have an interest in timber then there is a surprising amount of programming tailored for you. It’s fair to say that most of it follows the theme common to many reality TV programmes – find a group of people, preferably with strong regional accents, and splice footage of them together in such a way that it appears that they cannot stand each other.

This premise has proven to be rich pickings for Television executives and a slew of programmes now grace the airways, filling a gap in the market which it is difficult to believe existed. For your edification, entertainment and information we have sampled a small selection of the best this genre, timbertainment*, has to offer…

 

Swamp loggers

Following the premise outlined above, Swamp Loggers introduces a little financial jeopardy to spice things up. The economic downtown of 2009 is negatively impacting the swamp logging industry and the Goodson family, Carolina swamp dwellers all, must fight to keep their heads both metaphorically and literally above water. The central conceit of the show is that the eponymous Goodson’s all Terrain Logging Crew must fell and ship 100 loads of logs on a weekly basis in order to keep the business afloat. The crew, all of whom have names like “bo-bo” and “baby doll”, go at it with true gusto, working to snatch victory in some challenging climatic conditions and secure not only a $100 bonus, but also a pretty incredible looking barbecue.

The verdict – Turn on the subtitles and skip to end to find out if the crew has managed to secure the ribs. 2/5

 

American Loggers

The Pelletier family of Maine take turns battling the elements and one another in a seeming effort to spend so much time at one another’s throats that their business collapses around them. The big theme of this show is that the roads along which the timber is transported are so bad as to present a genuine threat to life and limb. To hammer this home barely a moment goes by when a truck, crane or other piece of plant has not gone tumbling through the air, propelled by a powerful diesel engine and the misplaced aggression of its operator. In true reality tv fashion the narrator cheerfully relays the carnage on screen whilst the Pelletiers offer the kind of nonsensical hot-takes we’ve come to expect from the genre.

The verdict – Subtitles are still a must, but the anarchic absurdity of so many valuable machines being driven with a genuine disregard for safety is a spectacle in itself. 3/5

 

Treehouse Masters

Surely the finest of a surprisingly broad sub genre of TV shows dedicated to the building and designing of tree houses. In contrast to the other shows in this list, Treehouse Masters is remarkably sedate. Pete Nelson, the titular treehouse master, seems to go about the business of designing and building tree houses in a zen like state of serenity – at least relative to his lairy compatriots. Moreover, you can understand what he is actually saying, which is a huge bonus… Pete and his team design enormous and varied structures to fit amongst the organic shapes of the trees they inhabit, extolling all the time the virtues of living in sympathy with nature. Then they chuck in a couple of flat screen TVs, a hot tub and a surround sound system, ensuring that the inhabitants of the new structure can studiously ignore all the nature around them

The verdict – After the sensory battering of American Loggers and Swamp Loggers, the comparative calm of Treehouse Masters is a welcome respite. 4/5

So there you have it, a comprehensive list of the best timbertainment around. Really though, if you are looking to get your timber fix look no further than our blogs and guides. They’ll give you all the advice and inspiration that you need to get planning those big projects for when things get back to normal. Alternatively, you can check out our slab page and drool over all the lovely timber just waiting for new homes when we can open the doors again!

Blog | 3 months AGO